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"I'm going to tell you a story. Not my story, that's later...This is just a story... Ready?

Once upon a time - or more specifically, at the dawn of time - god, lower case "g", was getting busy with creation, as the kids these days are saying. He gave Toad a clay jar and said,

"Be careful with this. It's got death inside."

Pleased as punch and oblivious to the fact that he was about to become god's fall guy on the whole death issue, Toad promised to guard the jar. Then one day, Toad met Frog.

"Let me hold the jar of death, or whatever you call it," Frog begged. With a nod to Nancy Reagan's pearls of wisdom, Toad just said 'no.' But Frog was determined, and after much whining, Toad finally gave in.

"You can hold it, but only for a second," he said.

In his excitement, Frog began to hop around and juggle the death jar from one foot to the other. Frog...was an asshole.

"Stop!" Toad cried out, but it was too late. Frog dropped the jar and it shattered to the ground. When it broke open, death got out, and ever since then all living things have to die. Makes you wonder how much better the world would be if frogs just stuck to hocking beer.

So there you have it, the mystery of death finally revealed. We all die, some of us sooner than later. For me it's going to be much sooner. But that's only the beginning of my story."

-Opening lines of the pilot episode of Dead Like Me